In order to start fresh and be fair to everyone and everything in my new world…I need to first say goodbye to what had been my world for a huge chunk of my life.
To give this somewhat of an introduction, I will start by saying that my new world has me following my passion. In this new life, I have met some inspiring people, I have seen some beautiful places, I have encountered life changing experiences. I have learned that failure is necessary. You need failure to progress, grow, overcome. Everyone needs to fail if they ever want to succeed. That being said – all the people in my life who are regretfully no longer a part of me – never lacked any inspiration, beauty, or adventure. Perhaps I just did not fit right in that place. I am searching for where I do fit. And believe you me, I realize this is #firstworldproblems, but that’s what I have.
Some may think they can understand
Some may think they can relate
But someone one dates cannot capture the whole
The whole of a marriage
He represents more than himself
More than our eight years
More than a social circle
He represents a world
My world, my world that is gone
You think I don’t feel any pain?
You think I had it easy?
What, with all the heavy burden upon my shoulders?
All our family, all our friends, all of his pain…
…you don’t think I have any pain?
You have no idea about all of my shame
I tried to change
To break out of the numbness
For years, I tried
It’s not fair – we both needed something different
I could’ve tried more, but this is where we should be now
I am sure
That does not make it easy
I never wanted this
-my world vanished
I was young, immature, naive
I never thought I would leave
I wish him no hurt, I wish our family and friends no hate
I love you all and will, always
Please accept that this was our fate
Let me have all your pain
Give me all of your hurting
I will accept all of your anger
Just don’t ever think that this is what I wanted
I feel like a criminal in my own skin
I wish you love
I wish you forgiveness
I wish you true happiness
I wish you passion
Thinking of you, all of you, will always make me smile
I became an adult with you
I would not be where I am without you
I understand if you cannot understand my actions
Goodbye my world, hello to new beginnings