Mourning over what Was….Smiling about and welcoming all that Is

In order to start fresh and be fair to everyone and everything in my new world…I need to first say goodbye to what had been my world for a huge chunk of my life.

To give this somewhat of an introduction, I will start by saying that my new world has me following my passion. In this new life, I have met some inspiring people, I have seen some beautiful places, I have encountered life changing experiences. I have learned that failure is necessary. You need failure to progress, grow, overcome. Everyone needs to fail if they ever want to succeed. That being said – all the people in my life who are regretfully no longer a part of me – never lacked any inspiration, beauty, or adventure. Perhaps I just did not fit right in that place. I am searching for where I do fit. And believe you me, I realize this is #firstworldproblems, but that’s what I have.




Some may think they can understand

Some may think they can relate

But someone one dates cannot capture the whole

The whole of a marriage


He represents more than himself

More than our eight years

More than a social circle

He represents a world

My world, my world that is gone


You think I don’t feel any pain?

You think I had it easy?

What, with all the heavy burden upon my shoulders?

All our family, all our friends, all of his pain…

…you don’t think I have any pain?

You have no idea about all of my shame


I tried to change

To break out of the numbness

For years, I tried

It’s not fair – we both needed something different

I could’ve tried more, but this is where we should be now

I am sure

That does not make it easy


I never wanted this

-my world vanished

I was young, immature, naive

I never thought I would leave

I wish him no hurt, I wish our family and friends no hate

I love you all and will, always

Please accept that this was our fate


Let me have all your pain

Give me all of your hurting

I will accept all of your anger

Just don’t ever think that this is what I wanted

I feel like a criminal in my own skin


I wish you love

I wish you forgiveness

I wish you true happiness

I wish you passion


Thinking of you, all of you, will always make me smile

I became an adult with you

I would not be where I am without you

I understand if you cannot understand my actions


Goodbye my world, hello to new beginnings


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